Masks are underwear for your face

Disposable surgical mask (Image Credit: FDA)

Or maybe underwear is a mask for you anus and urethra.

Here’s a kinda gross way to know that masks are at least partly effective against COVID-19.

Let’s talk about farts and poop.

When you fart, gases come out. Those gases – largely hydrogen, water vapor, carbon dioxide, hydrogen sulfide, ammonia, and methane – are accompanied by particles and/or liquids as well. This is why everyone occasionally gets stained underwear, and it’s one of the reasons people wear underwear in the first place – to keep the rest of our clothing clean.

And there’s the rub right there.

Masks are pretty much the same thing as underwear, only they’re for our mouths and noses instead of for our anuses and urethras. The masks let gasses through, but block most of the particles and/or liquids. This is true of cloth masks, paper masks, surgical masks, N95 masks, bandanas, neck gaiters, even actual underwear worn over the face. But as with underwear, masks can’t block everything and masks need to be changed and washed. After all, you don’t voluntarily sit in nasty underwear, so you shouldn’t wear a nasty mask either.

And the next time someone tells you that masks don’t work, suggest they check their underwear after a meal of beans to see how well their crotch mask is working at protecting their pants.

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